Steering a business for over three decades is a journey filled with countless lessons. Some are about making money, some are about serving customers, but perhaps the most vital – and often the toughest – are about the people. Building a great team is like building a strong house: it needs a solid foundation and careful upkeep. And sometimes, you need to make tough decisions about who’s on the team and who isn’t. After 20 years in the business world, I’ve learned a few powerful truths about hiring the right people and, just as importantly, knowing when and how to let them go. These aren’t always easy lessons, but they are absolutely essential for any business leader looking to build a successful, thriving company. Let’s dive into the three key insights that have stood the test of time.

The Foundation: Building a Winning Team Through Smart Hiring

Lesson 1: Chemistry Trumps Qualifications (Almost Every Time)

When you’re looking to hire someone new, it’s easy to get caught up in resumes and skill lists. Does this person have the right degrees? Have they worked at big-name companies? Do they know all the software programs we use? While these things are certainly important, my experience has taught me that there’s something even more critical: chemistry and fit. Think of it like putting together a sports team or even a band. You can have a group of incredibly talented individual players, but if they don’t work well together, if their personalities clash, or if they don’t share a common goal, they won’t win. The same goes for your business team.

Understanding “Chemistry” and “Fit”

So, what exactly do we mean by “chemistry” and “fit”? It’s not about finding people who are exactly like you. In fact, a diverse team with different perspectives is often stronger. Instead, it’s about how well someone’s personality, work style, and core values match up with your company’s culture and the people they’ll be working with every day. It’s about whether they’ll be a positive addition to the team’s overall dynamic. Consider these aspects:

• Shared Values: Does the person believe in the same things your company stands for? For example, if your company prides itself on customer service above all else, does this person genuinely care about helping people?
• Work Style Compatibility: Is your office fast-paced and collaborative, or more independent and quiet? Will the new hire thrive in that environment? Someone who prefers working alone might struggle in a highly collaborative team, and vice versa.
• Communication Style: Do they communicate openly and clearly? Are they good listeners? Can they handle feedback well and give it constructively?
• Attitude: Are they generally positive, resilient, and open to learning? Or do they tend to complain, resist change, or bring down the mood?
• Team Dynamics: Will their personality blend well with the existing team members? Will they contribute to a positive and supportive atmosphere, or create friction?

Skills can often be taught. If someone is bright, motivated, and has a great attitude, you can teach them how to use a new software program or learn a specific industry process. But it’s incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to teach someone to have a better attitude, to be a team player, or to genuinely care about their colleagues or customers if those traits aren’t already there. That’s why “fit” is often more valuable in the long run.

The Hidden Costs of a Bad Fit

Hiring someone who doesn’t fit, even if they have amazing skills on paper, can end up costing your business a lot more than just their salary. These costs aren’t always obvious at first, but they can slowly eat away at your company’s strength and success.

• Lower Team Morale: One person who doesn’t fit in or has a negative attitude can bring down the entire team. This leads to less enthusiasm, more stress, and a generally unhappy workplace.
• Decreased Productivity: When team members are spending time dealing with personality clashes, conflicts, or negativity from a bad fit, they’re not focused on their work. This means less gets done, and the quality of work might suffer.
• Increased Turnover: Good employees don’t want to work in a toxic environment. If a bad hire makes the workplace unpleasant, your best people might start looking for jobs elsewhere. Losing good employees is incredibly expensive, as you have to spend time and money recruiting and training new ones.
• Damaged Company Culture: Your company culture is like its personality. A bad hire can chip away at it, making it harder to attract and keep the right kind of talent in the future. If your culture becomes one of negativity or low trust, it impacts everyone.
• Wasted Resources: Think about the time and money spent on recruiting, interviewing, onboarding, and training the person who turned out to be a bad fit. All that effort is lost when they don’t work out. Then you have to start the whole process over again.

These hidden costs prove that investing time upfront to find the right “fit” is a wise business decision that pays off in the long run.

How to Spot “Chemistry” During the Hiring Process

So, if chemistry is so important, how do you actually find it? It’s not as simple as checking boxes on a resume. You need to dig a little deeper during your interviews and interactions.

• Use Behavioral Interview Questions: Instead of asking “Are you a team player?” (to which everyone says “yes”), ask questions that make them tell a story. For example:
  • “Tell me about a time you worked on a team where there was a disagreement. How did you handle it?”
  • “Describe a situation where you had to adapt to a sudden change in your work environment. How did you respond?”
  • “What kind of work environment do you thrive in, and what kind do you find challenging?”
  • “What do you enjoy doing outside of work? What are your hobbies?” (This can give clues to personality and balance).

  Their answers will reveal their actual behaviors and how they’ve dealt with real-world situations, which is a much better predictor of future behavior than just what they say they are.

• Observe Interactions: If possible, have candidates meet with a few different team members, not just you. Watch how they interact. Do they make eye contact? Do they listen actively? Do they ask thoughtful questions? Do they seem genuinely interested in the people they’re meeting? Sometimes, even a casual conversation in the breakroom can tell you a lot.
• Reference Checks That Matter: Don’t just ask if the person is good at their job. Ask references specific questions about their personality, how they interact with colleagues, how they handle stress, and if they were a positive force on their previous team. For example: “How did [Candidate Name] contribute to the overall team atmosphere?” or “If you had to describe [Candidate Name]’s work style in three words, what would they be?”
• Consider a Trial Period or Project: For some roles, especially in creative or project-based fields, a short trial period or a small paid project can be incredibly insightful. It lets you see them in action, working alongside your team, before making a full commitment. This is like a “test drive” for their fit within your company.
• Clearly Define Your Company Culture: Before you even start interviewing, take the time to write down what your company culture truly is. What are your core values? What kind of behaviors do you reward? What kind of communication is expected? Once you know this, you can look for candidates whose values and styles align with yours.

Remember, you’re not just hiring for a job; you’re hiring for a team. Taking the extra time to assess chemistry and fit upfront will save you a lot of headaches (and money) down the road.

Balancing Skills and Fit: A Practical Approach

This isn’t to say that skills don’t matter at all. Of course, they do! You need someone who can actually do the job. But the key is to understand the balance. Think of it this way: technical skills are like the engine of a car – essential for it to run. But chemistry and fit are like the steering, the brakes, and the smooth ride – they determine if the car gets to its destination safely and comfortably, and if the journey is enjoyable for everyone inside.

A practical approach often involves prioritizing attitude, teachability, and cultural alignment. If you have two candidates:

• Candidate A: Has all the technical skills listed in the job description, perhaps even more. Their resume is flawless. However, during interviews, they seem a bit arrogant, don’t ask many questions about the team, and their references hint at some past issues with teamwork or communication.
• Candidate B: Has about 80% of the technical skills you need, but their attitude is fantastic. They are eager to learn, ask thoughtful questions, genuinely connect with the team during interviews, and their references rave about their positive attitude and ability to collaborate.

In most cases, for long-term success and team harmony, Candidate B is the better choice. You can invest in training Candidate B to learn the missing 20% of skills. It’s much harder, if not impossible, to teach Candidate A humility, teamwork, or a positive outlook. The small investment in training for Candidate B will be far less than the potential costs of dealing with Candidate A’s negative impact on morale, productivity, and potential turnover.

Ultimately, a strong team is built on a foundation of trust, respect, and shared purpose. Chemistry and fit are the glue that holds that foundation together. Don’t underestimate their power.

The Tough Decisions: Navigating the Firing Process with Grace and Purpose

Hiring the right people is one side of the coin; letting go of the wrong ones is the other. No leader enjoys firing someone. It’s often one of the hardest parts of the job. But after 35 years, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not just necessary for the business, but it can also be a kindness to the person being let go, and certainly to the rest of the team. There are two key lessons here, both centered around acting with clarity and honesty.

Lesson 2: When It’s Not Working, Act Fast – The “Rip the Band-Aid Off” Approach

It’s tempting to put off difficult conversations. We hope things will get better on their own, or we feel bad about the impact on someone’s life. But when it comes to an employee who clearly isn’t working out – whether due to performance, attitude, or fit – delaying the inevitable causes more harm than good for everyone involved. My biggest lesson? Do it quickly. Don’t drag it out.

The Dangers of Delaying the Inevitable

Think about a small cut. If you ignore it and hope it heals, it might get infected and cause a lot more pain later. Letting an employee struggle or underperform for too long is similar. The negative consequences stack up, impacting not just the individual, but the entire company.

• Impact on the Individual: By delaying, you’re giving the employee false hope. They might be in a job where they’re not succeeding or where they’re genuinely unhappy. Staying in a bad fit means they’re wasting their own time and energy when they could be looking for a job that’s a better fit for their skills and personality. It delays their opportunity to find true success and happiness elsewhere.
• Impact on the Team: Your other employees aren’t blind. They see when someone isn’t pulling their weight, or when a negative attitude is spreading. This can lead to resentment (“Why do *I* have to do extra work because of them?”), decreased morale (“Management doesn’t care about performance.”), and a breakdown of trust within the team. They might feel like their hard work isn’t valued if poor performance is tolerated. It also means your top performers might get burnt out picking up the slack.
• Impact on the Business: Lost productivity is a huge cost. Every day an underperforming employee is on your payroll, you’re losing money and opportunities. Projects might be delayed, customer service might suffer, and the overall quality of work could decrease. Beyond that, a negative presence can contaminate your entire company culture, making it harder to recruit and retain other good people.
• The Emotional Toll on the Leader: As a leader, carrying the burden of an unresolved performance issue is stressful. It can keep you up at night, distract you from other important tasks, and simply drain your energy. Making the decision and acting on it, while hard, brings a sense of relief and allows you to refocus on building a strong team.

Every day you delay is another day these negative impacts grow. It’s like a small crack in a wall that, if ignored, can lead to a much larger, more expensive problem.

Recognizing the Signs It’s Time to Let Go

So, how do you know when it’s truly time to act quickly? It’s not about making snap judgments, but about recognizing patterns and behaviors that indicate a deeper problem. Here are some common signs:

• Consistent Underperformance Despite Feedback: You’ve had clear conversations, provided training, set goals, and given them opportunities to improve, but their work still isn’t meeting expectations. This is a crucial one – you’ve done your part, and if there’s no meaningful improvement, it’s a strong sign.
• Negative Attitude Impacting Others: They constantly complain, are cynical, spread gossip, or actively resist new ideas. This isn’t just about someone having a bad day; it’s a persistent pattern that poisons the well for everyone else.
• Lack of Commitment or Effort: They miss deadlines regularly, put in minimal effort, seem disengaged, or are always late/absent without good reason. They simply don’t seem invested in the success of the business or their role.
• Not Aligning with Company Values or Culture: This goes back to “fit.” Despite coaching, they consistently act in ways that go against your company’s core values (e.g., dishonesty in a company that values integrity, or selfishness in a team that values collaboration).
• The “Gut Feeling”: Sometimes, you just know. Your intuition as a leader, honed over years of experience, can tell you when something isn’t right. This gut feeling often stems from countless small observations that collectively point to a lack of fit or ongoing issues. Don’t ignore it, but always try to back it up with objective observations.

It’s important to distinguish between someone having a rough patch (which everyone does) and someone who is genuinely not a good fit or is consistently failing to meet expectations after support and clear communication have been provided.

How to Prepare for a Quick, Humane Exit

Acting fast doesn’t mean acting without thought or preparation. In fact, doing it quickly and cleanly requires careful planning. Here’s how to prepare:

• Document Everything: This is perhaps the most critical step. Keep a record of performance reviews, dates of conversations about poor performance, specific examples of issues, emails, warnings, and any plans for improvement you put in place. This documentation protects you legally and helps you explain the decision clearly and fairly.
• Consult HR/Legal (If Necessary): If you have an HR department, involve them early. They can ensure you follow all company policies and legal requirements. If you don’t have HR, consider consulting with an employment lawyer, especially if the situation is complex or the employee falls into a protected class. This helps avoid future problems.
• Plan Logistics: Think about practicalities:
  • When will their last day be?
  • What about their final paycheck, accrued vacation time, and benefits (e.g., health insurance continuation)?
  • How will company property (laptops, phones, keys) be returned?
  • How will access to company systems be cut off?

  Having these details sorted out beforehand makes the process smoother and more professional.

• Plan the Conversation: This is where “humane” comes in. The conversation itself should be:
  • Private: Always do it behind closed doors.
  • Direct and Concise: Get straight to the point. Avoid small talk. “We’ve decided to end your employment with [Company Name], effective today.”
  • Clear and Professional: State the reason clearly, referencing the documented performance issues, but don’t get into a debate or emotional discussion. Stick to the facts.
  • Empathetic, Not Apologetic: Acknowledge it’s difficult news, but don’t apologize for making a necessary business decision. “I know this is difficult news to hear, and I genuinely wish you the best in your future endeavors.”
  • Brief: These conversations should be short – typically 5-15 minutes. The longer they go, the more opportunity for things to go wrong.
  • Have a Witness: It’s usually a good idea to have another manager or HR representative present, both for support and to serve as a witness to the conversation.

By preparing thoroughly, you can execute the difficult task quickly and professionally, minimizing stress for everyone involved.

The Positive Outcomes of Timely Action

While firing someone is never pleasant, acting quickly when someone isn’t working out has several positive outcomes:

• Relief for All Parties: Believe it or not, the employee being let go often feels a sense of relief, even if they’re initially upset. They might have been unhappy or stressed in the role themselves. For the rest of the team and for you, the leader, the tension lifts almost immediately.
• Opportunity for the Individual to Find a Better Fit: This is key. By letting someone go from a job where they weren’t successful, you’re actually giving them the chance to find a role that truly matches their strengths and where they can thrive. It’s a stepping stone, not an ending.
• Improved Team Morale and Productivity: When the source of conflict, low performance, or negativity is removed, the rest of the team often breathes a collective sigh of relief. Productivity usually goes up, and morale improves as everyone feels a sense of fairness and belief that their hard work is valued.
• Protecting Your Company Culture: Your culture is incredibly important. Tolerating poor performance or bad attitudes sends a message that these things are acceptable. Acting quickly sends the opposite message: that you value high performance, a positive attitude, and a healthy work environment. This strengthens your culture and helps you attract and keep the right talent.

It’s about having the courage to make tough decisions for the greater good. It’s about protecting your team, your business, and ultimately, ensuring that everyone – even the person leaving – has the best chance to be in a place where they can truly succeed.

Lesson 3: Be Direct and Clear – No Room for Ambiguity in Feedback

This lesson is closely related to the previous one, but it focuses on *how* you communicate when performance issues arise. Before you ever get to the point of “ripping off the band-aid,” you have a duty as a leader to give clear, honest, and direct feedback. After 35 years, I can tell you that beating around the bush, using vague language, or hoping people will “figure it out” simply doesn’t work. If you need to give feedback, be direct and clear. There is no room for ambiguity.

The Problem with “Soft” or Vague Feedback

Many leaders avoid direct feedback because they fear hurting someone’s feelings or causing conflict. So, they use soft language, hint at problems, or give “sandwich feedback” (a positive, then a negative, then a positive) where the critical message gets lost. This approach has serious downsides:

• It’s Not Helpful to the Employee: If an employee doesn’t truly understand what they need to improve, how can they improve? Vague feedback leaves them confused and guessing, which is frustrating and unproductive. They might think they’re doing fine when they’re not.
• It Leads to Confusion and Frustration: Both for the employee and for you. You’ll get frustrated because the problem isn’t getting fixed, and they’ll be frustrated because they don’t know what you want.
• It Doesn’t Solve the Underlying Problem: If the issue is never clearly named and addressed, it will persist. This means continued poor performance, strained team relationships, and missed goals.
• It Makes the Eventual Firing Harder: If you eventually have to let someone go, and you haven’t given them clear, direct feedback with specific examples over time, the termination will feel unfair and come as a shock to them. It also makes it harder for you to justify the decision, both legally and ethically. They can truthfully say, “No one ever told me I wasn’t doing well.”

Imagine telling a student, “Your essay needs work.” That’s vague. How can they improve? Compare that to, “Your essay is missing a clear introduction and conclusion, and you didn’t provide enough examples to support your arguments in paragraph three.” The latter is specific and actionable.

The Power of Specific, Actionable Feedback

Direct feedback isn’t about being mean or harsh; it’s about being clear, respectful, and helpful. It’s about setting someone up for success, or at least giving them a fair chance to understand why they’re not succeeding. Here’s how to make your feedback powerful and effective:

• Focus on Behaviors, Not Personality: Don’t say, “You’re lazy.” Instead, say, “I noticed you missed the last three deadlines for your reports, and your project updates have been incomplete.” Focus on what they *do*, not what they *are*. Behaviors can be changed; personality traits are much harder.
• Use “I” Statements: Frame your feedback from your perspective. “I observed that your customer interactions have been shorter lately, and I’ve received feedback that some customers feel rushed.” This sounds less accusatory than “You’re rushing customers.”
• Provide Concrete Examples: General statements (“You have a bad attitude”) are unhelpful. Specific examples (“During last week’s team meeting, you interrupted Sarah three times and dismissed John’s idea without listening to it”) make the feedback undeniable and clear.
• Explain the Impact of Their Actions: Help them understand *why* their behavior is a problem. “When those reports are late, it delays the sales team’s ability to follow up on leads, which directly impacts our revenue goals.” This connects their actions to business results.
• Discuss Expectations for Improvement: Don’t just point out a problem; tell them what you *do* want to see. “Moving forward, I need you to ensure all reports are submitted by Friday at 5 PM, and that they include all sections as outlined in the template.”
• Set Clear Timelines and Follow-Up: If improvement is needed, establish a clear timeframe for review. “Let’s check in on this in two weeks to see how things are progressing.” This shows you’re serious and gives them a deadline to work towards.

When feedback is specific and actionable, it becomes a tool for growth. It empowers the employee to understand exactly what needs to change and gives them a roadmap to get there.

Delivering Tough Feedback: Best Practices

Even with a clear message, *how* you deliver it matters greatly. These practices can help make a tough conversation more productive:

• Do It Privately: Never give critical feedback in front of others. This is humiliating and counterproductive.
• Be Empathetic but Firm: Acknowledge that the conversation might be difficult, but don’t waver from your message. “I understand this might be hard to hear, but it’s important that we address this.”
• Focus on the Desired Outcome: Frame the conversation around what you want to see happen, not just what’s wrong. “My goal is for you to succeed in this role, and improving X will help you get there.”
• Listen to Their Perspective: After you’ve delivered your feedback, give them a chance to respond. “What are your thoughts on this? Do you see it differently? What challenges are you facing?” Listening can uncover underlying issues you weren’t aware of and show you care.
• Document the Conversation: Just like with a firing, it’s wise to make a brief note of the date, time, topic of discussion, specific examples used, agreed-upon actions, and next steps.
• Offer Support/Training If Appropriate: If the issue is a skill gap, offer to provide training, resources, or mentorship. “We can get you signed up for that course on project management.” This shows you’re invested in their success.

Delivering feedback directly, but with care, creates a culture of honesty and continuous improvement, where people know where they stand and have the opportunity to grow.

When Direct Feedback Leads to Firing

Sometimes, even after clear, direct feedback, support, and opportunities for improvement, an employee’s performance doesn’t change, or their negative behaviors continue. In these cases, the direct feedback process actually serves a crucial purpose: it lays the groundwork for a fair and justified termination.

Think of it this way: clear feedback is a gift. It’s the chance for an employee to understand what’s wrong and to fix it. If they choose not to, or are unable to, then the decision to let them go becomes much clearer, not just for you, but for them as well. They can’t say they weren’t warned, or that they didn’t know what was expected. You’ve given them every opportunity to succeed. This makes the difficult act of firing much more humane and justifiable, both to the individual and to the rest of your team. It also protects your business from potential legal challenges, as you have a documented history of attempts to correct the issue.

A leader’s job isn’t to be liked all the time; it’s to do what’s right for the team and the business. And sometimes, doing what’s right means having tough conversations and making tough decisions, always with clarity, honesty, and a commitment to fairness.

Conclusion: Building a Legacy of Leadership Through People

After 35 years in the dynamic world of business, the lessons about people stand out as the most impactful. They are the bedrock upon which successful companies are built and sustained. From the excitement of bringing new talent aboard to the difficult conversations of letting go, these are the moments that truly test a leader’s mettle.

We’ve explored three key truths that have guided me through the ups and downs:

• Hire for Chemistry and Fit First: Skills can be learned, but attitude and how someone interacts with your team and culture are far harder to change. Prioritize people who align with your company’s values and will contribute positively to the team’s spirit. A good fit prevents countless problems down the line.
• Act Swiftly When It’s Not Working: Delaying difficult decisions about underperforming or ill-fitting employees harms everyone. It impacts morale, productivity, and the overall health of your business. Having the courage to make a clean, quick break, while prepared and humane, ultimately benefits the individual, the team, and the company.
• Be Direct and Clear in All Feedback: Ambiguity is the enemy of improvement. Whether you’re coaching an employee towards success or laying the groundwork for a necessary departure, clear, specific, and actionable feedback is a non-negotiable part of effective leadership. It gives people the best chance to understand, adapt, and grow, or understand why a change is necessary.

These lessons aren’t just about avoiding problems; they’re about actively building a strong, positive, and productive workplace. They’re about creating a company where people feel valued, understood, and motivated to do their best work. A great company culture doesn’t happen by accident; it’s forged through intentional decisions about who you bring in, how you manage performance, and how you communicate.

Leading people is a continuous learning process. There will always be new challenges and unique situations. But by holding onto these fundamental principles – valuing fit, acting decisively, and communicating clearly – you’ll be well-equipped to navigate the human side of business, build exceptional teams, and create a lasting legacy of leadership.